Following celebrities on social media is so bizarre. Because you want to be like, “Look how much we have in common! We’re all just living totally normal lives obsessed with our dogs or raising kids or traveling or what not. Celebrities are just completely average human beings!”
But, that’s not exactly the case, is it? Because really, it’s like, “Look at their adorable dog in their enormous mansion professionally photographed by the photographer they always seem to have following them around!” or “Look at their fun birthday party in Napa with all their beautiful friends and a gigantic cake and fireworks!”
I mean. It’s not normal. Even when they try to make it seem normal. i.e.:
- “Just working out!” (In my own line of workout clothes with my personal trainer.)
- “Headed out for the evening!” (In my ball gown for the *enter awards show or gala here* designed by a fabulous designer specifically for me and this single event.)
- “Engaged!” (Wearing 20 karat ring)
- “Having a baby!” (Sitting in a throne made of flowers.)
90 percent of the time, they’re either getting their makeup/hair done (a daily occurrence for most of us, no?), wearing crazy expensive facial masks, sitting in steam rooms, lounging in pools, getting on private jets, walking a red carpet, or hanging out with other celebrities. Oh, and constantly being gifted things that only celebrities can afford anyway. What is that? Why do rich people get all the cool freebies? Coach bags. Diamonds. No big deal. Meanwhile, I’m like “Woo, free perfume sample at the mall!” and “Score, free squishy ball and pen from this conference!”
The other day I bought a 60-piece Rubbermaid set of containers at Sam’s for $15 and my husband made fun of me when taking them out because I said, “Ohhh, this is a nice size Tupperware!” My life is so glamorous. Also, I still call any kind of plastic to-go container Tupperware. Empty Cool Whip container? Tupperware. Empty Country Crock container? Tupperware. It’s just how I was raised.
But I digress. Celebrity lives are just SO weird, right? We get this glimpse into their lives, but they have NO idea how abnormal their lives really are.
Also, it’s a little depressing.
Like, how come my “friends” don’t comment on every single one of my photos with, “That jawline though!” or “Slay!” or “YASSS, QUEEN!” I mean, step up your game, guys. Seriously.
Me, wearing a $2 face mask from the grocery store, pretending to feel famous and fabulous.
It worked, in case you were wondering.